It started with a drive through town...and in my hometown, thats a pretty short drive. Just the amount of time needed to let the car windows down, turn the radio up, and for me to cool off. Then however, it slowly turned into a game of "Well, I'll turn around when I reach the church," or "Ok, I'll turn around when I reach the Skating Palace," or "Fine,I will definitely turn around at this next church."
Have you ever felt like you were going crazy in your own skin? And wished you could just drop EVERYTHING and leave....just go, anywhere, somewhere, nowhere...?? About a year ago I was like this, to the point where I was just miserable, but luckily, I soon left for a service trip in Birmingham, AL, and my atitude was soon changed. But now, once again, I am going crazy in my own skin, wishing I was anywhere but here and doing anything but this. It's not that I don't love my friends and family, and it's not that I don't love my life, but lets be honest...sometimes it just drives me insane!! :) While I was driving I found myself on the highway, thinking, "If I keep going, I can reach the mountians in less than an hour...and how nice would that be?" Now, my foot on the gas said keep going, and my heart said keep going, and I'm pretty sure that my hands and my steering wheele were also in agreement...but my brain had to be the sensible one, not failing to point out that I was both broke and on a half of a tank of gas. And while I think I would have been perfectly happy to just spend the night in my car, my brain was feeling extra helpful, and didn't mind pointing out all the trouble I would have caused if I had just ditched out. So, here I am, about an hour later, at home.
Ya know, I think I could make a pretty content hobo...lol. Sometimes the idea of skipping town and working odd jobs here and there as I traveled around the U.S. seems extrememly appealing to me...although I feel wrong for feeling that way. I'm supposed to go to school, get a degree and a good job, and live life...or at least thats how it seems to me...and while I truly like that plan, I can't help but wonder what a year away from that plan would be like. I want to see places and experience things, and all too soon (HAHA) I'm going to be expected to go out on my own and provide for my ownself, and won't be able to do it. I'll have too many responsibilites...unless I catch a rich husband, which is highly unlikely, as I don't see marriage anywhere in my future. Nothings holding me back but myself though...my family probably wouldn't like it, but they wouldn't stop me...they wouldn't have to, because I would stop my self...simply because I'm not brave enough to do it. I wish I was though, and am envious of those bloggers on here who have the courage to do it. For now I guess I'll have to stick to my books and movies and imagination....and maybe if I'm lucky I'll get the opportunity to maybe ditch town for the day...as of this moment I already feel a little bit better. Perhaps this is a lesson from God...teaching me a lesson to be content where He has me at...but hopefully he will send some patience to me while He is teaching it...
WIDE WIDE WORLD BY ERIN O'DONNELL
I wanted to be safe
I wanted to get by
I almost lost my edge
I could not fathom why
But you would never let me
Your dang’rous side won out
‘Cause you knew what I wanted
I wanted to get out
Chorus:
It’s a wide wide world
And I almost lost you in it
It’s a chance to live
But it almost passed me by
It’s an open door
To live for something better
‘Cause you keep leading me
Into the wide wide world
Did Moses want to turn back
After crossing the red sea?
I bet that he got nervous
I wish that I could see
‘Cause I’ve got the shakes all over
And I want to turn around
But I’m twice as scared of missing
The good that can be found
Chorus
‘Cause you are past the borders
Somewhere off the map
Of what feels comfortable
And I am so grateful for that
It’s adventure that we want
And it’s what we’ll fin’lly get
There’s nothing safe about You
But sometimes I forget
So lead me into the wide world
Don’t let me miss my chance
‘Cause I’ll blink and it’ll be over
And I won’t pass here again
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